Enjoyed the posting. It would’ve been interesting to read about how a single father views dating, especially in this day and age, in which parental roles are often reverse stereotypes or are shared equally between parents. Beliefnet is a lifestyle website providing feature editorial content around the topics of inspiration, spirituality, health, wellness, love and family, news and entertainment. But eventually, things evened out and there were far more hopeful days than disaster days. advertisement. You don’t have to think about it or reason it out: “Wow, he just lost his job, of course he must be sad, I feel terrible for him,” you just feel it, as if it was happening to you. But the paradox is that while we ourselves are love, we go on seeking it outside ourselves. Love is never safe. Yet, once I started talking about it—sharing my lowest point with people I was close and not so close to—I realized that everyone could relate on some level. “Love is the whole thing. Many of those details are difficult to write about because of the personal emotions triggered by the event. Whatever you enter into will dissolve—either because someone changes his or her mind about the relationship or, of course, because someone will die. The healing process wasn’t linear—there were days when everything seemed ok, good even, then others when the pain made me want to check out for the day. My family often criticizes me for my connection obsession. The second kind is pretty terrible, though. , 8 Life Lessons That Only Heartache Can Teach You, Racial Affinity Groups Are a Lifeline For Students During Remote Learning — Use Them, How Many People Can You Safely Have Over For Thanksgiving? Part of the reason why I was so shell shocked and devastated by the way things fell apart was because I was deeply entrenched in what I hoped and expected would happen. Clearly, there was a plan I hadn’t yet been privy to. I like to relate this point of yours to Steve Job’s lesson on ‘connecting the dots’. In the aftermath, she decided to focus on herself, cutting off things that weren’t helping her achieve her goals and dreams, and becoming more intentional about life. When most people say they're looking for love, what they usually mean is they are looking for safety by seeking another person who can help them stop worrying: about not having enough money, growing old alone, or feeling undesirable. All over the world there are marital problems between husbands and wives, and the only reason for this is that both expect love from each other but are unable to give love.”. When you relax with what you truly feel by allowing it—without telling yourself any story about what it all means—you create an enormously expeditious path to healing. Even though it doesn’t feel very good at first. Your insights were so encouraging to me today. You can see the reality beyond conventional thought. It’s refreshing! Required fields are marked *. You realize that you are infinity itself. Related: The First Thing You Should Do After a Breakup For Your Heart's Sake Melanie discusses her lessons from heartbreak and how she’s determined to make her last relationship, the last unhealthy one. Once I was lucid enough to look back I realized that continuing with that relationship would have been a disaster. That would’ve also been an interesting, and maybe even essential, viewpoint to explore. -It is like when a door closes, another opens.. We tend to confine ourselves in the given comfortable conditions. Now, months later, I embrace a strength in myself that I never had before.

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