Confused about what he felt and hearing his mum's final words, Harry's mind starts to unlock things that had been better left forgotten. After a rough summer with his family, Harry is just happy to see his friends again. [18], In December, Filch attended the Christmas feast, in which he departed with his usual brown coat and wore a very old and rather mouldy-looking tailcoat. Filch confiscated a shrunken head from Vincent Crabbe. One of the most popular male on male couples in the Harry Potter fandom are Sirius Black/Remus Lupin (WolfStar). After placating Filch, he told them he had not seen Jacob, but that he if he had, he would have loved to have sent him to the British Ministry of Magic in shackles. After this, he was forced to award them ten house points, much to his and Mrs Norris's displeasure. After the Gryffindor Quidditch team's practice on 24 October, Mrs Norris saw Harry Potter who was covered in soil and dirt. Then, Professor Alastor Moody (actually Barty Crouch Jnr under the Polyjuice Potion) appeared and made them leave, convincing them that no one was there, saving Harry and later giving Harry's things back. Soon, Filch discovered Harry and took him to his office; however, before he could punish Harry, Filch heard a noise and realised that Peeves had damaged a very valuable Vanishing Cabinet. He's deserving of some enjoyment, isn't he? [4], Harry Potter: Hogwarts MysteryArgus' sceptical personality against Jacob's sibling party invitation, In the 19841985 school year, Filch and Mrs Norris found the cursed ice. Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini/Theodor Nott/Draco Malfoy. [16] When she was Petrified by Salazar Slytherin's Basilisk, Filch was devastated and started sobbing, which made Harry Potter feel slightly sorry for him, though he felt a lot more sorry for himself, fearing he might be expelled. Harry Potter is such a beautiful, erotic boy, and Gilderoy will have him wrapped tightly around his finger in the time it takes you to say Boggart. [82] Others, like Pomona Sprout, were sympathetic and kind towards him.[37]. Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor by cloneserpents - In this beloved erotic comedy with over 1,000 reviews, Harry leads his friends on a Horcrux hunt after reading a magical book that gives him special powers. Harry's 6th year is off to a rough start. The only thing that is known is that he respected many of them, and did what they say without question. Midway through the train ride, the Dementors board the train and Harry's life is never the same. After readingHarry Potter and the Cursed Child,I felt a little cheated that Scorpius and Albus Severus didnt end up together. . In July, Argus Filch attended Dumbledore's funeral in an ancient black suit and tie reeking of mothballs, paying his respects for the man who, despite their opposing views on student punishment, gave him employment as a Squib. It has always been the tradition of the Weasley men to be very hands on in teaching their boys about their bodies, and in a family known for large brood of kids the older siblings assist their father by teaching their younger siblings what theyve learned, and theyve never been ashamed of learning anywhere at home. In an excuse to escape punishment, Draco told Filch he had been invited to Professor Slughorn's party, and Filch dragged him by the ear to Slughorn's office to see if his claim was true. Ronald Weasley demanded to know what did it matter if the students were smuggling Dark objects out of the premises, and his cheek earned him a few jabs with the Sensor. (And if you want your Potter clean, weve got a list of our favorite HPfanfiction for you.). AU. [71], On 19 December, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger argued and speculated whether or not Filch and Madam Pince were secretly in love with each other. Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, Romance, Tragedy. Slut Harry spends Christmas at the Burrow. He apparently realised the Ministry of Magic was going to interfere at Hogwarts that school year, and clapped enthusiastically. He also told him that someone had broken into his personal office. #1. tip: katekyou "alternate universe" sort:>words. Midway through the train ride, the Dementors board the train and Harry's life is never the same. A Question of Valueby Inell pairs Hermione with Percy Weasley on the Quidditch Pitch. Neville Longbottom has a romp with Luna Lovegood inWhat if I Do It Wrong? M/M erotica continues to dominate Harry Potter fanfic, but there are still quite a few notable lesbian stories out there. [83], Immediately after the battle, Filch grimly looked at a large pile of rubble in the Entrance Hall, which he dutifully began trying to sweep up, while the fighters gathered in the Great Hall mourning over the dead, and celebrating over their victory.[82]. Once again, this story features the surprise star of M/M Harry Potter erotica, Percy Weasley. Lessons With Hagrid by NothingPretentious. On two occasions, he shut Mrs Norris inside a suit of armour, from which she was rescued by a furious Filch, yowling loudly. However, when Arthur turned around he looked at all three at them with a heavy gaze from his blue eyes causing them all of them flinch. To annoy Filch, Peeves would trap Mrs Norris in suits of armour,[65] drop chandeliers,[65] play tennis against the Castle walls in the middle of the night,[34] stick wads of gum in keyholes[85] and caused general mayhem, which Filch was later responsible for fixing and cleaning up. [62], Due to Harry's dislike of Filch, Harry twice jinxed him with Langlock in his sixth year, humiliating Filch much to the amusement of everyone who witnessed it.[71]. Click here to enter, or just click the image below. ARTHUR WHERE IS MY IMPREGNATION? There are so many Drapple fics to choose from, but one of the steamiest isForbidden Fruitby Charlotte Blackwood. [13], During the Start-of-Term Feast in the evening of 1 September, Filch stood by the double doors leading to the Great Hall as Headmaster Albus Dumbledore gave his start-of-term notices. Did you lovethe movieGroundhog Day but also lamented the lack of wizard boy sex in it? The background story will basically follow the books, and won't bother restating everything that happens. Clearly, Im not the only Potterhead who feels this way as Romione erotica seems to be the most abundant out of all of the canon erotica out there. [62] Harry Potter helped Dean Thomas mess up the clock in the Clock Tower, Colin Creevey sent the Inquisitorial Squad several rude Howlers in chocolate boxes, and Parvati and Padma Patil poured Babbling Beverage into the school loudspeakers. Ask Question Asked 4 years ago. He later told Harry Potter off for wandering around on his own, which he thought suspicious. Despite their truthful claims that they were lost, Filch did not believe them and threatened to lock them in the dungeons. He literally cant live without sex and he doesnt care who knows it. Listopia Harry Potter FanFiction All of the best novel length Harry Potter FanFiction stories. This belongs to a school champion! [28], Later in the year, Jacob's sibling and Merula Snyde interrogated Filch to see if he was the "mole" for "R" in his office. Hagrid vouched for them, but Filch rudely undermined Hagrid's authority as a teacher, with Hagrid insulting Filch for being a Squib in retaliation. A darker Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley get together shortly after Voldemort's return. Numerous pairings, including heterosexual and various LGBTQ+ oneshots, mainly involving Harry but also includes other relationships. They attracted his attention by sticking a Blood Pop in Mrs Norris's fur. InA Bit of Respite by Bryonia Alba,Percy and Oliver get some much needed alone time. [7], After Harry Potter and Hermione Granger had carried Norbert to the Astronomy Tower, so that Charles Weasley's colleagues could take the dragon to Romania, Filch caught the pair roaming the Astronomy Corridor on their way back to Gryffindor Tower in the early hours of 10 May, 1992. We ask that you follow our rules and guidelines by visiting the Policy Category. [19], Filch later approached Jacob's sibling towards the end of the year, asking them where they were going. 1. Harry Potter and his sister Alison by Melanie Anderson 663K 13K 45 What if Harry had a little sister? Filch helped the students evacuate during the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998 and participated in the battle himself. [69] Filch, however, was hoodwinked by Fred and George's Owl order service, in which their products came disguised as perfumes and cough potions. Filch also did not suspect anything that was from Rosmerta, another factor that would have permitted the necklace and poisoned mead to enter the castle as well as a flaw that Draco attempted to take advantage of. As Snape discussed with Filch, he wanted to take those objects in order to find who they belonged to (suspecting that they were Harry's). They were given detention in the Forbidden Forest, along with deductions of fifty house points each. [72], Filch greatly trusted Madam Rosmerta, the bartender of the Three Broomsticks Inn, in that he would actually neglect the proper protocols and allow anything from her to enter the castle without properly inspecting them beforehand. Trust Meby RZZMG puts Hermione and Neville Longbottom together. Hearing this, Filch thought that Peeves stole the egg. The love between Hermione and centaur Firenze in The Winter WizardsCentaur Loveis entirely consensual. He was surprised and displeased when he realised that Mrs Norris was showing Alanza affection. However, Dumbledore managed to convince Filch that Harry was not responsible, as he could not have performed such Dark magic, being twelve years old at the time. The twins noticed a filing cabinet marked Confiscated and Highly Dangerous so, curious, they let off another Dungbomb in his office and "nicked" the Marauder's Map, which was stored inside that drawer, from him. I'm coming to get you, Peeves You've gone and stolen a Triwizard clue, Peeves Dumbledore'll have you out of here for this, you filthy, pilfering poltergeistFilch's paranoia with Peeves, after Harry Potter (under his Invisibility Cloak) drops his Golden egg. [9], Later on, Filch and Madam Pomfrey oversaw the evacuation procedure of underage students and of those not willing to fight, via the Room of Requirement. [18], The caretaker had punished them many times during their Hogwarts years, for their trouble-making. Neznm mu vyzvd, jak se tam Harry dostal a Harry, i kdy je ze zatku proti, zane vyprvt svj dlouh pbh, a dokud se nedostane k incidentu, kter ho dostal do t uliky. A Black Comedy by nonjon. The twins are confused and horny. I bet you'll think twice about breaking a school rule again, won't you, eh? Apparently, Filch lost some of his duties, as punishment seemed to be given out exclusively by the Carrows and Severus Snape. Marrying Millicent Bulstrode, the ugly, smelly and fat girl of Slytherin, who liked to giggle with that irritating sound that tears through your head like the wail of a pig? [65], No one, however, could compete with the master of chaos, Peeves. Nobody would have thought of throwing Fanged Frisbees down the corridors if I could've strung you up by the ankles in my office, would they? [57] Filch also assisted Umbridge when she had Trelawney sacked, something he most likely took pleasure in, as it caused Trelawney great stress and reduced her to tears. [2] However, Filch did always plead to Dumbledore to permit him to use corporeal punishments on the students, a request that was never granted, which became a primary reason why Filch preferred Umbridge as head of the school. In this extremely strange erotic fanfic, Hogwarts is lonely and the giant squid is there to fill those halls. So this erotic fanfic has a little bit to offer to both the canon fans and the WolfStar believers. In a world where Vernon decided to get the freak out of his house as long as possible before he starts training his magical powers, the man sells Harry to his boss for the next five years when Harry was five. [10], Little is known about Filch's early life. There are quite a few episodes already, so if you want to get your Harry Potter erotica fix while on the go, this podcast is your answer! In the night of 21 January, 1995, Filch almost caught Harry Potter while he was on his way back to Gryffindor Tower after having been in the Prefects' bathroom trying to solve the golden egg riddle for the Triwizard Tournament. Draco then told Filch that he was trying to gatecrash. [46][47], In October, Filch underwent an extra-thorough cleaning of the Castle and acted ferociously to any students who forgot to wipe their shoes. [25], During the 19881989 school year, the Marauder's Map was stolen from his office by a thief that he suspected to be Peeves. [80] Filch was kept working at Hogwarts in his capacity of caretaker. Years later, he's determined to make Harry more than a friend. Argus Filch was a Squib and the caretaker of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry since around 1973. Please bear in mind that this list could hardly be comprehensive because there are so many fantastic pairings and stories to choose from, and feel free to share your own favorites in the comments. The cat was found petrified under a message written on the wall saying that "THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED. 8. A prompt from Kamerreon's Prompt Generator. Filch fought a running war with Peeves, the Poltergeist, and the two were sworn enemies for more than twenty-five years. Chapter Text. He's thrilled to be going to the only place he considered home. She, however, met Peeves on the way, who chased her from the premises, whacking her alternately with Minerva McGonagall's walking stick and a sock full of chalk as the students and teachers watched. That's what fanfiction is about. Lily and James were killed when Harry was three and Alison was just a couple months old Becomes a Draco Malfoy love story later on I d. harrypottersister siriusblack voldemort +17 more # 2 Stubborn Attraction 2 ~H.P by Eve ~ 3.3M 126K 114 Filch almost caught Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger, and Neville Longbottom, but they successfully managed to hide in the Forbidden Corridor as Peeves refused to share any information with Filch. He always begged Headmaster Albus Dumbledore to let him suspend students by their ankles from the ceiling. This content contains affiliate links. During their next meeting about the Ball, Filch brought it up and Pince was eventually convinced. Dungbombs and Stink Pellets were frequently dropped in the corridors, so that students performed Bubble-Head Charms on themselves to get a supply of fresh air. But when their children of the future appears, they are to read the books of their past,. Feel free to suggest any pairings/situations you'd like to see, and eventually I'll try to include them (it could take a while). Non-canon Harry Potter erotica: m/m. One of the fandoms favorite non-canon pairings is Dramione (Draco/Hermione). Please, dont do this. He squeezed his eyes shut as cold air came in contact with his semi-erect cock. However, he did reveal to them he had heard rumours that he had been spotted in the Hogwarts Library. In Happy Birthday, Hermione! An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works ! Came the screeching of Molly Weasley who had taken to clearing Lockhearts signing table and laying spread eagle on her back, knickers round her ankles. Youve been warned. Harry Potter was the son and only child of Prince James and Princess Lily. PEEVES! [72], On 17 March, Filch did his usual prodding act with the Secrecy Sensor as some of the sixth years departed the school for an Apparition lesson at Hogsmeade. A joyous retelling of the Diagon Alley trip in Harrys second year with the Weasleys. [21], During the 19851986 school year, Filch allowed Jacob's sibling and Penny Haywood to have Fang and Jacob's sibling's cat approach Mrs Norris, so Fang overcome his fear of cats. Arthur was never a violent man, but he was very expressive and his temper, when it was short, nobody wanted to be on the wrong side of. [14], During the school year, a mysterious, dangerous monster roamed around the Castle and tried to attack muggle-born students. [13] He disliked the students and constantly hassled them over the littlest infraction and took delight in the doling out of detention-worthy write-ups. The Harry Potter Wiki has 156 images related to, *Disclosure: Some of the links above are affiliate links, meaning, at no additional cost to you, Fandom will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. [14] Then, he believed that Harry was the one who petrified Mrs Norris, Filch's cat, as he was one of the few people who knew he was a Squib. Filch even threatened Harry after finding him standing by the petrified Mrs Norris, Dumbledore had to calm him down. Didnt find what you were looking for? [70], Harry Potter and the Order of the PhoenixArgus Filch takes Harry Potter to Headmistress Dolores Umbridge, Although Filch disliked most students, Harry Potter was one of those he disliked most. [36] Ron spent the evening of 5 September, 1992 with Filch, and kept burping up slugs all over Tom Riddle's Special Award for Services to the School. InAs I Walk From My Machine by tamlane, Percy moves on to Astoria Greengrass after, on behalf on the Ministry of Magic, he puts out an ad asking for subjects to test experimental sex magic and Astoria answers the call. Find moreerotic stories here. Harry decides to have sex in his last year at Hogwarts with anyone that he wanted. After he opened a book that screamed, Filch arrived on the scene almost immediately but was unable to see Harry. The process took longer than normal as Filch triple-checked everybody with his Secrecy Sensor. My sweet! [32], On their very first morning at Hogwarts, 2 September, 1991, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley managed to get on Filch's wrong side. This is a story in which Harry has sex with just about everyone. He was later approached by Jacob's sibling who was concerned about Pince's plan for the Ball and told him Pince loved gorgeous settings such as such as flowers, music and refreshments instead. Language: English Words: 45,464 Chapters: 19 /? I'll have you, Peeves, I'll have you, you'll and what is this? Gilderoy would do anything for Harry Potter, whom he was the biggest fan of for years. [2], Sometime in January, 1993, Moaning Myrtle flooded her bathroom after Ginny Weasley tried to dispose of Tom Riddle's diary in her bathroom. When I say realistic, I mean it in terms of the portrayal of the Second Wizarding War and how it affects the Muggles, the detail that went into expanding the Harry . When Ginny finds a discarded recipe from the twin's fledgling business, she realizes she and Harry can use it to get rid of his enemies - and get some pleasure out of it in return. [39] He learned that the one who petrified Mrs Norris was the memory of Tom Riddle, the one who controlled Salazar Slytherin's Basilisk. Filch, unaware of what was happening, came to Professor McGonagall shouting that students were out of bed. Hermione broke the hug. Harry really did love him to allow him such an honor. If youre in it for the long haul, this particular fic is 61 chapters long. Harry Potter and the Last Horcrux by Mike. Before he can process these recent events, he and many others are invited to the Room of Requirement to read a very special set of books. [15], On 30 June, 1997, a small gang of Death Eaters managed to penetrate the magical protections around the Castle with the help of Draco Malfoy and an assault took place at the Astronomy Tower and the corridors beneath it. He was favoured by his mother and neglected by his father. Refer to the manual, or the Goodreads Librarians Group. This is weird and awful and bad things happen in it. Severus Snape joined them, and killed Albus Dumbledore atop the Tower[75] (in fact, Snape was a double agent and was working on Dumbledore's orders, meaning since Dumbledore was already slowly dying, Snape's killing of him was a mercy killing).[76]. So this erotic fanfic has a little bit to offer to both the canon fans and the WolfStar believers. Professor Dumbledore took full responsibility for the group, and was to be escorted to the Ministry, where he would be formally charged, and then sent to Azkaban to await trial for conspiracy and sedition. Severus Snape agreed with Filch, not because he had the same opinion, but because he wanted Harry to be punished. He's thrilled to be going to the only place he considered home. He whimpered as he hardened even more. Why should he feel bad about that? [13] Filch also did not care for Hagrid as a professor and treated him as if he were inferior, possibly because he was half-giant. Sign up for Kissing Books to receive news, book recommendations, and more for residents of Romancelandia. [17] Filch stored the map in a cabinet marked "Confiscated and Highly Dangerous". ), theres a Harry Potter erotica fanfic thats right for you. It is unknown what was made of Filch, or even if he was mistreated by the Carrows simply for being a Squib. They brought either a Nose-Biting Teacup or Fanged Frisbee from Zonko's Joke Shop, and after Jacob's sibling placed the prank device inside his office after hiding themselves with the Shrinking Charm, Filch opened the box containing the prank device which forced him and Mrs Norris to retreat, allowing them to read and retrieve the notebooks. Please consider turning it on! Book Riot no longer promotes J.K. Rowling in light of statements she has made against the trans community. Dont forget to leave a comment about your favorite Harry Potter pairing or erotic fanfic. PEEVES! He wanted Lockhart to stop, but was powerless. Best Funny Harry Potter Fanfiction. The idea of sex has always frightened Neville, but Luna is more than happy to guide the way. tip: "uchiha sasuke/uzumaki naruto" angst kudos>10. Work Search: During the first stage of the battle, Filch was left with a deep gash in his left arm. Albus is having the worst birthday ever, and James comes to his rescue. Harry Potter Fanfic Harry And Hermione. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of AzkabanFilch is suspicious of Harry Potter as he wanders around the school, During the next school year, the alleged mass-murderer Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban and the Ministry of Magic stationed Dementors around the entrances to the grounds in order to protect the school and Harry Potter, which was thought to be Black's target. tip: katekyou "alternate universe" sort:>words, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage, Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage, Rape/Non-Con, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings (3), Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, wait no there really isn't smut wth did I just write, I think that from being bad at prose I've gone straight to fucking being weird, Fluff will probably creep in because it always does, Book 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, except 28 yr olds shouldn't be crushing on 12 yr olds lmao, Juciest Lucius and his magnificent Staff, Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter/Gilderoy Lockhart, Hermione Granger and her parents (mentioned), Arthurs Semen has its own name and is somewhat sentient against thots, lucius Malfoy has a magnificent extendable arse. In 1991, Harry and Ron managed to get on Filch's bad side on their very first day at Hogwarts School, when he and Ronald Weasley got lost and inadvertently tried to enter the out-of-bounds third-floor corridor. Strange, but consensual. [63], Sometime after the Easter holidays, Fred and George Weasley set off a Portable Swamp on the Fifth Floor Corridor, and left the school in a blaze of glory. Filch later took Mrs Norris to the pet gathering, telling her to behave after she hissed at Fang again. [15] The one thing that the two absolutely agreed on was a mutual dislike of Harry Potter. The two shared a strong bond that linked them somehow; anytime Mrs Norris spotted someone breaking a rule, Filch would arrive soon afterwards.[13]. M/M erotica continues to dominate Harry Potter fanfic, but there are still quite a few notable lesbian stories out there. You filthy little beasts would never have dropped Stink Pellets if you'd known I had it in my power to whip you raw, would you, now? In 1995, when Dolores Umbridge became High Inquisitor at Hogwarts, Filch gladly supported her. He was going to be permitted to bring back the "old punishments" and give students whippings, and she asked the Minister for Magic to sign an order for the expulsion of Peeves, the resident Poltergeist. Yes, this is a brother/brother smut story. Destiny is not written in stone At the end of the day, Umbridge was dishevelled, sweaty-faced and soot-blackened from trying to extinguish the fireworks, and Filch set one of his brooms ablaze when he tried to swat at the fireworks in midair. [35], On 26 May, Filch brought the four students to Rubeus Hagrid, who was assigned to lead them into the Forbidden Forest. We ask that you follow our rules and guidelines by visiting the Category... Frightened Neville, but there are so many Drapple fics to choose from, but because wanted! Hogwarts Library Dumbledore had to calm him down is this his left arm an... 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